Mama

Mama's back has been bothering her for about a month now and I got tired of waiting for her neurologist to fit her in so I took her to see our family practitioner on Friday. After an L S x-ray, it was determined that she has a vertebra out of place, and that is causing pain down her left thigh. We then went to Conway that afternoon and she had an MRI.

On Tuesday we learned that her back is seriously jacked up. She is scheduled to see a Neurosurgeon on Tuesday the 18th at 2 pm for a consultation. We will find out then what our options are, if any.

Doc says that this was probabily caused by the 10 falls that she has had this year, I'm sure that the 2 she had this weekend did not help matters any. Her fall on Saturday night resulted in a black right eye that makes her look like she went half a round with Jermaine Taylor.

She is now using a rolling walker to help her get around.

I'll update more after the appointment on Tuesday, but we could really use your prayers.

Love you all, annabanana

Camping with Mom

Mama and I went camping on Mt. Nebo in November and had a wonderful time. The scenery was beautiful that weekend.

On our last morning at camp Mama said that she would like to go and take a look around on Mt. Magazine, if we could leave early enough. So I packed us up and off we went, Magazine was also beautiful.

Top, one of the many spectacular views on Magazine. Middle, Sunset Point, Mt. Nebo in the background, and my beautiful Mama in the foreground. Bottom, the road home, coming off of Nebo.

Mama and I love to go camping, and I was telling our neighbors at camp at Nebo about Mama having Parkinson's and wanting to visit every state park,(there are 52 in Arkansas), They said that me taking her to them all was a fantastic gift for her. I say they got it wrong, taking my Mama camping is really a gift for me. I love you Mama, and I hope that you are enjoying our campouts as much as I am.

a day at the Heifer ranch

So Mandie and I took Stella to the Heifer ranch to see the animals. Stella is wild about animals, but she was a little frightened of the camel Gobi, who is a female and seems to be very docile. She was a perfect lady. She was so gentle, that Mandie got a "kiss". Randy, you might want to think twice about kissing your wife next time, or at least have her use some listerine. LOL

pictures....

ok, somebody tell me how to put pictures on my blog. I have a great one of Mandie kissing a camel at the heifer ranch! I am completely technologically challenged.

Amanda, where are you? You have not blogged since the 16th.

Heifer international ranch

The ranch is in Perryville, Arkansas and is a self-sustaining, non-profit ranch. It is an excellent learning experience.

Each December they have a living nativity, and this year, I think, it will be on the 7th and 8th from 6 to 8 pm. You can drive through and then they will be serving refreshments afterwards.

I have been there twice and learned something new both times. You can purchase livestock, to be sent to needy families throughout the world, and they give you a gift card, that you can then give to the person in whose name you bought the gift.

Once the family gets the animal(s) then they also get educated on how to take care of the animal, once that animal produces it's first offspring then the family gives that offspring to another needy family.

At the ranch they have several different animals, like, water buffalo, cows, sheep, camels, and more. They also have a gift shop that is stocked with products from other countries that they only get through free trade.

They have several different educational programs, you can learn more at www.heifer.org
There site is well worth a look, and check out the Global Gateway program.

Dopher.....

is what we sometimes call my big brother Chris. He hates it. Actually, it should be spelled with a t, and pronounced with a d, as in Christopher. I call it his love name, because we who love him are the only ones that can get away with calling him that. Although, Mom called him that and she didn't hear from him for 6 months. LOL

I read on my Amanda's blog, that Chris got laid off yesterday. I wish there was something that I could do, besides pray. My magic wand is broken, and has been for a very long time.

This is what I can do, Chris and Amanda, there is always room for you in my house, if it comes down to it. My neverending prayers are with you.

And Chris, you may not want to hear this, but there is always Now Foods, I'm sure that Dan and Elwood would not hesitate to give you a job.

Let me know if there is anything that we can do.

I love you,
Olga

time to fess up

My sinuses have been bothering me for about a week and a half now, and on Thursday I took 2 sinus pills before I went to bed, and slept right through the alarm clock that I had set to get up in time to attend the tops meeting. ooops.

My coworker said yesterday that her niece's boyfriend came up with the money, she is scheduled for an abortion today. Please pray for her. The coworker said that she was sorry that she mentioned it in the first place, because she didn't want to get my hopes up, only to have them dashed again. I told her that we would be ok, and that one of these days God will bless us with kids, just as he has in so many other ways. I am very sorry that her niece has choosen this path, when there are so many other options.

Joey is at deer camp today, deer season opened this morning. He is probabily now leaned up against a tree with his gun across his lap, sound asleep.

I hope all have a blessed day. Love, annabanana

today

Starts a new day in this journey to mo'bettaness. I am resolved, I will not fail. I will be a much better me.

My new goal will be in 5's. 5lb weight losses, 5 days worth of physical activity. Why 5's? Because next october I want to RUN in the race for the cure, I may finish last, but I will finish, and I will run the whole 5k.

Keep praying, and please keep encouraging me.

Jessica, anything, green or batiks, You know me.

Love you all, annabanana

Gentlemen, start you engines....

I have become inspired again. Will be attending meeting this week.

One of my co-workers told me this morning that her 19 year old niece is pregnant, she is considering abortion, co-worker told her that I would love to adopt, she is considering that as well. I'm trying to not get my hopes up.

Pray for me, please.

Love y'all, annabanana

my beloved Amanda

My sister in law Amanda has started a blog about her own weight loss struggles and triumphs, it is called amandagetsthin.blogspot.com. Amanda, you are fabulous! I love you.

So I have a few errands to run and I'll write an update later.

Much love to you all, annabanana

Still in park...more or less

So I haven't been to tops in awhile, because of timing, it is going on when I really like to sleep. I know that is a poor excuse.

Joey and I each got a bicycle last week, I haven't ridden in about 10 years, and I cannot believe how out of shape I really am. I can maybe ride a half a mile. Gone are the days when I lived in Villa Park and we were only 2.5 miles from the prairie path, where I could ride for 10 miles without getting even the slightest bit winded. We don't have anyplace like that near here, so we just ride up and down our rode, which is up and down hill. Joey can't ride any further than I can, he says he can't breathe, I tell him to quit the smoking, and soon he'll be able to breathe, and then ride further. Everyday, we go a little further. Everyday we get a little better.

Joey complains that he is fat, I disagree, I tell him that he is just a little out of shape. But, I love him. He never says anything about my weight, and so many of the people I know, their husbands and boyfriends are forever putting them down, calling them "fat slobs" and worse. I don't know how I would handle it if Joey ever did that to me? He really treats me like a queen.

As for mine and Mom's camping trip, why did I choose the hottest weekend in October? We had a good time though, and we are planning another campout for November 16-18 on Mount Nebo, in case anyone else wants to join us, we have an extra tent. Just let me know, and make your own reservation, and if you are not much of a tent camper, they do have some fairly reasonable cabins.

On a sad note, this past Saturday we buried my great-aunt Poll (pronounced like doll), Dollie Ruth Williams McDonald. She was a phenomenal woman. Robert Miller performed the service, and did a fantastic job, probabily the first Christadelphian exhortation many there had ever heard. I cannot express my gratitude enough.

So, with the bike riding, I'm trying to kick start my self once again. Please pray for me.

My love to all, annabanana

foodies annonymous

For alcoholics that are trying to break the cycle of alcohol abuse, they are told to attend 90 meetings in 90 days, I think I need that for people addicted to food. Someplace that the scale is not as important as how you feel.

That is the only thing that I do not like about TOPS, no matter how many times I tried to politely explain that I did not want to discuss how my weight went. They just kept prying. Those of you that know me know that I am very private about some things. I am still very new at sharing about my weight, and my mental states regarding my weight.

Although, ask me any question that might be an embarassing topic for someone else and I am free with info depending on who is doing the asking.

I don't know what I need. I am taking my Mom camping this weekend at Crater of Diamonds. Lord willing, I'll be able to get back into the right mindset.

I am very much looking forward to getting away this weekend, if Mom will ever get her stuff done!!! That was sarcasm if you didn't catch that.

Anyway, I'm off to load the rest of her stuff in the car. Later

bored

haven't been walking, haven't been eating right, haven't been going to meetings. They are at 4:30 in the afternoon, and when you work nights that is the middle of your night. Just can't seem to get my butt back in gear.

Mom and I are going camping this weekend at Crater of Diamonds state park. Need a break.

HELP! Somebody kick my butt back into gear!!!!!!

update

I gained 1.75 lbs this week, but my mother-in-law says that she can see that I'm droping some weight, must be turning fat into muscle?!? I can't see it yet.

I'll post more later.

What day is it?

I missed the meeting last week, I didn't know it was Thursday until CSI came on and I asked Joe why would CSI be on on a Wednesday?!? It's Thursday. OOPs Well, that's what happens when you work nights, you never know what day it is.

It has been raining here and I haven't been able to walk, so now I'm just dancing in the living room. I love to go dancing and don't care what other people think, it's just not the right environment for me, because then, I want to drink, and the alcoholic in me can't handle that temptation.

To my beloved sis Amanda, I love you so much! I'm doing the program this week and it is going to be about the psychology of conditioning and positive reinforcement. Think Pavlov and his dogs, but make it work for dieting and working out?!?

Amanda, Fight the good fight, you are more than worth it. Mom says hello and she loves you.

My positive reinforcement is my bag of beans. One pound lost equals one pound of beans in the bag. Also for every ten pound loss, I get to treat myself to a fat quarter of fabric. Just find what non food treat works for you. Like a pedicure for one month of working out 5 days a week.

Anyway, it is now past my bedtime. I'll post again later in the week. Love to all.

I am tired

I'm tired of the republicans, tired of the democrats, tired of whatever Ross Pierot is?!? I am tired, I need rest.* Going from a stationary lifestyle to a sedentary lifestyle is hard work. Everyday is a battle to get up off my lazy butt. A battle, made even more difficult by that loud inner voice that keeps telling me "you're not worth it, sit down, shut up, and eat, then you will be happy."

Have you seen that commercial about the runner made of various horrors and stresses of the day? The further the runner goes, the more the horrors and stresses fall away until it is just a man left standing and taking a drink of the so call "fitness" water that is being advertized. I want to feel that way when I exercise, the further I go I want the horrors and stresses of my life to fall away, if only for a little while.

I think if you can find the right exercise for you then you immediatly start to feel that way. Exercise is personal, walking is not for everyone, running is not my obsession, I have yet to find MY exercise. The one method that is right for me. I like the walking, but the horrors and stresses don't fall away with it. So, I am on the search for MY exercise. I'll continue the walking and try others as well.

Starting with one that my back does not have to be involved in, it hurts.

I have found a, I'm guessing, new product. I might have been ignoring it. Anyway, Kraft has joined with the South Beach Diet guru to make lunchable type items. Each package makes two wraps, there are like 5 different types, they each have a minimum 14 grams of fiber, and are around 220 calories. I like the deli ham and turkey, which comes complete with two wheat tortillas about 5 inches, 4 slices each ham and turkey, about two ounces shredded cheddar, grey poupon mustard, and sugar free jello. I usually give the jello to someone else or throw it away, because I do not like aspartame (it causes alzheimers). That, a bottle of water, and some fresh carrots make a pretty good lunch. A benefit to all that fiber is that it makes you feel full longer.

Marria, thank you for your e-mail, you are a blessing to me. I hope you and Kim have a really good visit, give her my love.

It is now past my bedtime, hope everyone has a blessed day, g'night.




*Thanks Marc, from one of your exhortations.

A turtle...

For some, unknown to me, reason, if you don't lose or gain any weight for the week, TOPS calls that turtleing???!??? To me a sloth is more like it, they only move like 2 miles a year, and I have seen some really quick turtles. So for this week, just call me a turtle(I still think sloth is more like it).

Do you ever feel like Jaba The Hutt looks?? There are many days that I feel like I'm a giant slug, no salt jokes please.

Jessica, in answer to your question, for the same reason you know who gets frappewhatever, so they don't have to listen to the whineing.

I know why I gained last week, it is that time of the year, for those of you who know me, you know what I mean.

Brett and the kids just need our prayers in general, it can't be easy for any of them. I would also like to add any others that are suffering.

Hope everyone has a great day, g'night.

but before I go.....

I was thinking about going back to school for my BSN, went to AR Tech in Russellville yesterday, and it means another 4 years of school. Still considering going back for some Gen ED classes, in the spring.

Mandie, I almost called you at 5:30 this morning, ch 11 had a woman on that actually said that 100% juice was a better snack for kids than real fruit!!!!! She even suggested crystal light as a good snack for kids to take to school with them!!!! I nearly called the station, to tell them that she was sorely mistaken.

anyway, g'night.

Ok, so now I am depressed.....

I gained 2.5 this week. I know what I did wrong and am really trying to correct it. The problem is I have a craving, you know when you are having a craving but you just can't pinpoint what it is for????? So you eat everything trying to satisfy that craving.....well, after 2 weeks, I finally figured it out, oreos and milk. So on break tonite I had 6 oreos and a glass of milk to dunk them in. No, I did not go out and buy a whole package, one of the other nurses had some at home, and that helped me to not eat the whole pack, because that is exactly what I would have done when I got home.

Pray for me. I need all I can get, and please remember Brett and family in your prayers. Also, if you get the chance, check out you preach on youtube, specifically the sand gospel.

I'm off to bed, g'night.

My sweet husband

Joey as many of you know does not care what size I am, he loves me no matter if I am a size 2 or a size 32. Which I have to say is pretty fantastic.

Yesterday morning I was taking the bandaids off of my big toes and he asked why I had them on, I explained about walking in the mornings, and that on Saturday I wore the wrong shoes and rubbed really bad blisters on the bottom of my toes, he looked at them and saw how bad they are and asked what I needed so that this would not happen again, I said that I was going on Tuesday to get some new walking shoes, and we left it at that, I went to sleep and he went into the living room. I woke up at about 2 in the afternoon and he wasn't at the house, about 2:30 he came in and I told hom that I wanted to go to Russellville and piddle around, so off we went, when we got there we stopped at a shoe store that was open, where I planned to go on Tuesday, and looked around, I tried on a few pairs and finally he said don't wait, go ahead and get what you need. Long story short, I got 2 new pairs, one for walking and one for work.

Isn't he the sweetest?

He never asks how I'm doing on the "lifestyle modification", but he's always "way to go babe" very supportive.

Perk of the week, on Friday night one of the other nurses said that my shirts were fitting better!!!!

Have a blessed day!

well, I'm not discouraged.....

I did not meet my goal for these 2 weeks, but, I am down another 4 pounds. That is a very good thing, and a fairly healthy amount for someone my size to lose.

So, I was thinking of ways to stay focused and motivated, and I remembered something that I heard in a weight watchers meeting. For every pound lost, go buy a pound of dry beans, and keep them in the package and store them in a pillow case. The idea being that it is a visable amount, and when feeling that it isn't much, carry the pillow case around.

So now to my only 2 problems, first, my poor feet are taking a beating, and on Tuesday I'm going to have to get a new pair of walking shoes, and second, when Jennifer isn't able to walk with me, it gets really boring, so eventually I'm going to get an ipod, so I can have something to listen to. Marria, do you have either of these problems?

I got an email from Jessica, I just have one thing to say. Marathons?!? Those people are crazy. I'll be content if my boobs will just stick out further than my belly, how's that for honesty?

This weeks wieght:323.5
Total weight lost:8.5

Have a blessed day, and thanks for joining me on this difficult journey to mo'bettaness.

Whoohoo!!!!!

Went to TOPS last night and I'm down 4.5 pounds! I was the biggest loser in the group, and got a prize for it.

I went walking this morning and have already had my daily requirement of water.

Anyway, I'm off to bed. g'night

Jennifer, my new friend

I met her several years ago, when a mutual friend was working the Alltel booth at our local walmart. Then, about 2 weeks ago I saw an article in the local paper about TOPS and she was the focus of the article. She joined last October and as of July she has lost 100 pounds! She controls her portions and walks 2 miles a day and does curves for an hour a day.

She and I went walking this morning and we are not sure how many laps we did on the walking path, because we were talking and lost count. Then we went to breakfast and were bad, we both had the works skillet, it has potatoes, tomato, mushroom, ham, and eggs. Then we went to Mandie's for my diabetic consult.

Thank you Mandie for spelling it out in plain english! It was all like Greek and very discouraging in the very beginning 6 years ago.

So that was my day so far, now, I'm going home to nap, for tomorrow we walk!

As of Thursday night, 332.

Short term goal, 320 in 2 weeks from today.
Potential reward, 1 fat quarter of fabric.

Yesterday

I started walking, very slow, only a half a mile. I'm trying to work up to that running thing.

I went to see Doc yesterday, and he said that my diabetes is under control. Then he asked me what made me what my motivation is to keeping my diabetes under control? I told him that it is because I need to be fit and healthy to take care of Mom when she gets to the point where she can't. He said that I needed to find a more positive reason, such as skiing, and or shopping. neither of which interest me in the least.

So I think that I have found the perfect reward for losing the weight, Quilt camp! If you now me at all, then you know that I love quilting.

Last Thursday night I joined TOPS, taking off pounds sensibly. I'm still trying to find the right eating plan. But I meet with Mandie Smith on Monday, so maybe we can nail down a plan then.

Well, I just got off work, now I'm off to walk and then bed. Later;)

oops.....

I meant Nurse, not murse.

Murse definition: male nurse, and I am most assuredly not one of those.

The beginning

Weight loss and diet... the three words I hate the most. I always felt that if my body could keep up with what I wanded to do, then what harm was it to anyone if I was overweight? Then I became a nurse. I can't very well tell someone else what to eat and how much to exercise, when I look like this.
Because my faith is very important to me, I turned to God in prayer, and my bible for help. 1 Corinthians 6:19 says "What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, Which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?" 1 Corinthians 3:17 says "If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are."
Now, I don't know if those verses apply to weight, but if my body is a temple, I'm not taking very good care of it. Since I've been praying about this, I have been having the overwhelming urge to run, but shouldn't I be able to walk first? Of course part of this running thing may be attributed to reading Marria's blog, and how free she feels and how is clears her mind and all the stresses and worries in her life just seem to melt away. I envy that feeling.
So, this blog while focusing on weight loss, some of it will be word vomit. While I welcome comments, please make them constructive. Do not tell me that I'm fat, I know better that anyone that I'm fat. Please, encourage me and help me to find the right eating plan. Know this, I am diabetic, and I do have high blood pressure. If I'm out eating with you, tell me to stop. I promise I won't get mad, I might even thank you. Because, I know it is coming from the care and concern you have for me.
I thought about surgery, but I didn't gain this weight through surgery, and I just don't feel that surgery is right for me. Besides, I can't afford it.
So, let's start with the specifics. I'm 37 years old, 5'8" tall, and I weigh, oh gosh here it comes, 335 pounds. No, that is not a typo, it really is 335.
I am very hesitant to set any long term goals, because I'm very easily discouraged. I like short term goals, and I'm a firm believer in positive reinforcement. Help in setting goals and rewards is welcome as well.
I will post a weekly weight as well as other information after we pick a plan. This way we can see what works, and what doesn't. I hope you will get as much out of this as I know I will!